My elementary school music teacher was a shrewish woman, about 4’8″ and with eyes that bugged clear out of her head, who wore high heels every day, scooted around on them with a vengeance, ruled the music room with an iron fist, and screeched in a voice that should never have been allowed to touch the ears of children. Despite all of this and my constant hatred of her (bolstered by the fact that she always gave the singing solos to precious teacher’s pet BRENNA and not me), I still developed a zen for music and have loved it ever since. Even though I can’t ever hear “God Bless America” without being reminded her standing at the front of the room and teaching it in sign language for some reason, always squealing on the “WHITE WITH FOOOOAAAAAM!!”
Anyway, today’s monster is a request from a musical genius friend of mine. He asked if I could make a monster out of music, to which I replied, “I can make a monster out of anything.” Hopefully this will not result in a barrage of requests to make a monster out of irony or dignity or the taste of strawberries.
PS. I originally typed the first sentence of this with the typo “ruled the music room with an iron fish.” How awesome would that be?