(I also got a lot of pencils in my basket on Halloween. A judge lived across the street from us, and he’d always give out these campaign pencils that were shaped like gavels, with two erasers at the end. I always thought they looked more like hammerhead sharks, though. And those things freak me the hell out.)

Anyway, candy, huh?

Because only one monster is not enough for something as awesome as punctuation, here’s a little exclamation point to keep the question mark company. Together, they make an interrobang!

The answer to all of these, of course, is that there is no answer. Except for the iPod one. I dropped it. :(

Yeah soooo it looks like I was gone for longer than a week. What can I say, weddings suck the soul right out of you.

Anyway, today I’m posting a classic monster that has just been adopted. In fact, it was one of the first ones I ever made, so I’ll be sad to see it go. But it’s heading to Australia, where I assume it is much needed, what with the drought and the wind storms and whatnot. So it’s all for the greater good. Godspeed, little droplet!

The powers that be (namely my mother) have informed me that it’s time to get up off my crocheting ass and plan my wedding already. So will be taking a week off to do just that. Perhaps I will post some stuff along the way, if I happen to see any monster dresses or monster flowers or, God willing, a monster popping naked out of a wedding cake.

Does this grainy, slightly creepy photo of a happy-go-lucky ragamuffin and an old-timey villain pique your interest? If so, hop on over to the Etsy Handmade Moment Contest (a competition for budding Etsian filmmakers to create 15- and 30-second films), where you can view the video I submitted!

This is the project I’ve been working on all week (with a fair bit of assistance from Human Monster) and I think it turned out pretty  decent for someone with zero digital video editing experience.  *launches into an I-Don’t-Remotely-Know-What-I’m-Doing dance*

So if you happen to be a fan of this site and/or monsters and/or vaudevillian puppets in general, do me a solid and watch and rate my video. The winners get some pretty bitchin’ prizes, and while ratings and view counts aren’t the only deciding factors, they certainly don’t hurt either. Enjoy the shenanigans!

This guy, who could hands down beat Andy Rooney in a Bushy Eyebrows of Death contest any day of the week, is Part 2 of my Top Secret Project. The whole thing should be done by tomorrow, so check back here to see the fruits of my weird and some may say pointless labor. Also stay tuned for my Bushy Eyebrows of Death contest, which I plan to hold sometime later this year.

This poor decapitated creature is the beginning of a Top Secret Project that will hopefully be done by the end of the week. So stay tuned for that. Hint: it will solve global warming.

My elementary school music teacher was a shrewish woman, about 4’8″ and with eyes that bugged clear out of her head, who wore high heels every day, scooted around on them with a vengeance, ruled the music room with an iron fist, and screeched in a voice that should never have been allowed to touch the ears of children. Despite all of this and my constant hatred of her (bolstered by the fact that she always gave the singing solos to precious teacher’s pet BRENNA and not me), I still developed a zen for music and have loved it ever since. Even though I can’t ever hear “God Bless America” without being reminded her standing at the front of the room and teaching it in sign language for some reason, always squealing on the “WHITE WITH FOOOOAAAAAM!!”

Anyway, today’s monster is a request from a musical genius friend of mine. He asked if I could make a monster out of music, to which I replied, “I can make a monster out of anything.” Hopefully this will not result in a barrage of requests to make a monster out of irony or dignity or the taste of strawberries.

PS. I originally typed the first sentence of this with the typo “ruled the music room with an iron fish.” How awesome would that be?

I had some Brazilian food over the weekend, and in the process rediscovered my love for the yuca, a long, brown tuber that, let’s face it, looks kind of like a turd BUT tastes like the potato of the gods. If gods ate potatoes. Which they don’t, because we all know the gods eat nothing but massive quantities of Doritos.

Anyway, this little mouseslug is kind of shaped like a yuca, except for the giant ears. Ironically, the yuca I ate DID happen to have giant ears, but that’s only because I live in a radioactive waste dump.